My whole heart
by Smalllady08
Summary: Post 15X03, Sam decides to go retrieve Rowena's body still shaken by her death and ends up finding her, but not how he'd imagined it to be.


**Author: **Rafaperez

**Summary: **Post 15X03, Sam decides to go retrieve Rowena's body still shaken by her death and ends up finding her, but not how he'd imagined it to be.

**Enjoy**

**Whole heart**

_Still I hear_

_Still in small voice in my ear_

_Such a voice wipes away every tear_

_I'm nothing more than a speck of matter_

**Whole heart-Tara Simons**

Sam and Dean walked in silence through Hell's corridors which seemed empty and neither of them exchanged a word. Not only Dean was disappointed at Castiel and their fight after they'd returned to the Bunker but also he was worried about Sam since he'd killed Rowena in the previous day. He knew how much his brother was suffering with the loss although he didn't understand their relationship but he'd to admit that she'd changed a lot and what she'd done for them, her sacrifice so he hadn't questioned Sam and was there with him now.

The giant walked more ahead, his heart breaking and a lump in his throat but he kept his head up looking ahead as he held his knife on hands.

He hadn't sleep since their return to the Bunker because memories of Rowena walking toward the rift, the feeling of her body in his arms so small and her words wouldn't leave his mind. He would be haunted by the redhead forever and his biggest regret was not telling her how fond of her he was too, even if she already knew by her affirmation.

So that was why they were in Hell because he wanted at last to retrieve her body and give her a hunter funeral, she deserved that after everything she'd done for them, changing so much, the reasons that had made his heart want her.

And reaching one of the cells and seeing the pink fabric on the floor Sam stopped for a moment closing in hands in fists and his eyes started to shine so Dean placed a hand on his shoulder:

"You want me to do it Sammy?"

"No, I'll." Sam took a deep breath and Dean then grabbed the colt and walked away to give Sam some privacy, but staying alert to any demon and Sam then approached Rowena.

Sam knelled beside the body, his eyes falling over the blood stain on her dress making his heart break even more and slowly he raised his eyes to her pale face, her green eyes closed and he frowned, touched and took a hand gently to her face, brushing away her red hair.

"I'm sorry Rowena..." He whispered hoarsely, his voice failing as he frowned harder, staring at her. "If there was a way to bring you back, someone to pray for that, I'd do that."

His big and tanned fingers ran over her cheek until they reached her lips still pin and he caressed them with his tumble wishing he'd kissed her there in the crypt.

"I know...' Rowena's eyes opened, completely black before she blinked and they became green as she sat with difficulty and Sam stared at her in shock before helping her to sit and both trembled at the contact.

"Rowena, you're a..." Sam could barely believe he was seeing Rowena alive in some way in fr0nt of him, he didn't know how or why for him it didn't matter what she was, he was happy to see her again.

"A demon, apparently." She said with a smirk but her voice was softly as he helped her to lay her back against the wall and she stared at him touched and then seeing he wasn't walking away or pointing his knife at her but he was still caressing her face as his other hand pressed her against the wall gently. "You don't look like you want to mill me Samuel."

"And why would I do that? Everything I asked and prayed since you were gone was to have you back and you're here." He admitted hoarsely, grabbing her hand and joining their fingers showing his sincerity and that surprised her as she stared at their hands before staring at her hazel eyes with a softly smile.

"I was afraid I would never return again, that it was really my ending so I thought with all my might how much I wanted to see you, deep in my heart and then I woke up in Hell." Rowena told him, her eyes shinning with all her emotions. "Big surprise."

She didn't know how many days had passed since she'd gone to Hell, after absorbing all those souls and with her mortal wound from the knife she was little by little recovering with her new abilities inside the vessel which used to be her body and despite it being strange she was thankful her prayers had been somehow heard by someone and was in Hell but alive and Samuel had come for her.

"Can you stand up?" Sam murmured and she nodded as he helped her to stand up and then they stared at each other, the redhead even being shorter than the giant and being weaker still emanated power and then he shook his head slightly, smiling touched and he brought her to his arms. "I'm fond of you too Rowena," It was what I wanted to tell you there."

"Samuel..." Surprised and with her pulse accelerated she hugged him tight, a beautiful smile on her face at his words. "I knew it but thank you anyway for telling me that."

They two stayed in silence for a moment just holding each other despite knowing they should leave soon, it was still Hell but they need a little more time together and Sam tightened his arms around her feeling Rowena bury her face on his chest, her small hands involving him.

"Come back with us." Sam whispered to her, raising his face so he could stare at her and now he was serious and determinate. "I don't care if you're a demon, you're still the Rowena I know and I love."

And the man blushed as he realized what he'd said and his heart although the nervousness warmed with the declaration and he saw the surprise in Rowena's face as she frowned before taking a hand to his heart and she said hoarsely:

"I was just waiting for you to take me home."

She didn't know who things would be now she was a demon, but she knew she was more powerful and had a new opportunity to stay at the giant's side, she'd fight alongside him, she'd learn to love so she said still hoarse, her eyes shining in a mix of emotion and slyness:

"Teach me how to love."

Sam nodded, his heart beating fast as he opened a small smile bringing Rowena to himself again and slowly she lowered his head meeting her lips in a simple kiss but loaded with love and both felt the electric discharge run through their bodies before they deepened the kiss, holding each other.


End file.
